The party you’re planning is the celebration of a new start, and here at The Big Fake Wedding, we not only want to help you plan the wedding of your dreams, we want to send you into the marriage you’ve always wanted as well.
So, at a time when your head is full of seating arrangements and flowers and menus, it’s important to leave some mental space for life after the wedding. Here are three things we encourage couples to try while planning for their big day… and happily ever after.
First, find a couple you respect and who have been married for longer than ten years, and adopt them as your mentors. Ask them how they manage conflict, how they set healthy boundaries, and how they’ve stayed in love all these years. Then take notes. Learning from others who have been where you want to go will give you perspective and inspiration even on the hard days.
Next, sit down and discuss your marriage expectations together. Sadly, 53.8% of men and 53.6% of women feel that they can’t comfortably discuss any issue with their partner, according to data from the marriage counseling app, Lasting. Don’t be that couple! Make time to talk about the hard (and even boring!) stuff before the wedding. How will you manage your budgets? What about household chores? How do you manage family expectations during the holidays? Prioritize these conversations now, even if they don’t apply in the moment. Learn to shift your inner narrative from “me” to “we,” considering how your decisions affect the relationship rather than just the individual. Your expectations will evolve over time, but practicing vulnerability today will create healthy pathways for you to talk about sensitive topics going forward.
And lastly, invest in your partnership by considering marriage counseling. This is just as important before your wedding day as it is after. And Lasting, a marriage counseling app backed by data and content from marriage therapists, makes this super easy. It offers sessions on topics like money, sex, conflict, and communication, and provides 5-minute daily activities to grow in these areas and keep the spark alive. Go ahead and download the app here and just for fun, take Lasting’s relationship health quiz to see your score!
Our mission is not only to inspire brides and grooms and to support small business—we want to encourage solid marriages, and that starts with you. Be just as intentional about planning for your marriage as you are planning for your wedding, and you’ll be building an incredible, lasting foundation for years to come.