We are so excited to introduce our featured day-of coordinator for The Big Fake Wedding Houston, Anshwa of SwaLaRue Events! Anshwa does it all and knows how to handle any curveball thrown her way, so of course we had to ask her to contribute to our day-of coordinator series on the blog. Anshwa is here with some great tips on maid of honor duties so you can totally nail the job on the big day. Take notes, y’all!
“Wedding planning allows me to make an impact on the lives of others and bring them to their happy place on their wedding day. Whether it’s allowing the bride more time to relax or giving the groom the advice he needs to survive the day – I help make the most important day of my clients’ lives run more smoothly and I do not take that responsibility lightly. My team of behind-the-scenes logistics ninjas enjoy every opportunity to witness you exchange vows and celebrate by dancing the night away…”
How to Survive Being the Maid of Honor
1. Sharpen Your Concierge Skills
In the days and weeks leading up to the wedding, guests will have plenty of questions. Where’s the nearest hotel? Will there be alcohol? Can I bring my kid? They will likely contact you because they know the bride is busy. Help guests prepare for the big day.
2. Be the Gate Keeper
Even when you are willing and able to answer guest questions, some of them just won’t get it. I was in a wedding party where I witnessed my friend answering calls while getting her make up done for her wedding and guests were asking her for directions to the church…. Really? Do your BFF a favor and hijack her phone after the rehearsal to keep her stress levels low. Think of yourself as her personal assistant.
3. Keep a Secret
Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? What can go wrong WILL go wrong at weddings. As a wedding coordinator, it’s my job to be a problem solver and keep these issues at bay so everyone can have a good time. But there may be some mishaps and incidents you may be privy to as the Maid of Honor. Don’t tell the bride until AFTER the wedding and reception is over. Ignorance is bliss and we want her to be happy, right? Then after it’s all over, you can give her the play by play.
4. Lead the Bridesmaids
Consider yourself the Head Girl in Charge. Make sure the bridesmaids have what they need and are helping out wherever they are needed. They were chosen for a reason; make sure everyone does their part. Your bride should NEVER plan her own shower and you are not to be left to pay the tab alone either.
5. Carry the Bouquet
There will be times when the bride will need her hands free; like when she is exchanging rings with her brand new husband to make it official. Take her bouquet off her hands and hand it back to her when she is getting ready to walk out of the church for the recessional.
6. Keep Track of the Train
During the wedding ceremony the bride will have a lot going on. Nerves, emotions, vows to make in front of God and witnesses, and maybe even lighting a candle or pouring sand to symbolize her new union. During these activities, her train may become bunched or not lay properly. Keep an eye out to make sure the train of the wedding gown is laying as it should, and help pick up the train (as needed) to avoid tripping throughout the day.
7. Help Corral Key Players for Pictures
If you are her right hand girl, then you likely know all of her deepest secrets (and even what her third cousin on her mother’s side looks like). Because of this, you should be able to identify family members needed for photos much quicker than the coordinator or photographer will. Help make sure everyone who is a VIP is ready to say CHEESE.
8. Make Sure She Eats!
Brides don’t eat at weddings. At first it’s nerves and wanting to look amazing in their dress…then they get to the reception and are bombarded with hugs and guests wanting selfies with them. Make sure your bride eats at least a couple of bites of the food they are paying for or they will end up like me. Looking back at photos from their wedding with pictures of themselves at their reception with an untouched dinner plate in the background and listening to everyone else talk about how good the food was that night.
9. Make a Toast
This one should come as no surprise. There is enough time in a wedding reception for 2-4 people to give a toast (any more and you start putting your guests to sleep – they are just chomping at the bit to get on the dance floor!). One of those 2-4 people will be YOU! Don’t get caught having an unprepared speech. If funny isn’t in your personality, don’t try to be. If you are a crier, that’s ok too. Just be yourself and talk to your BFF as if there were no one else in the room (except her new other half of course). Speak from the heart and it will show!
10. Have FUN!
Whether the big day is going just as planned or not, the bride is counting on your positive energy to keep her strong that day. Keep her smiling. The best way to do that is to have fun yourself. You can’t help the bride if you are being a Negative Nancy or making the wedding day about yourself. Remain positive, keep your cool and have F-U-N!